If I get really dissatisfied, though, I’ll do something about it. DDoing DDR is one step I’ve taken, for example.

Of course, if I wanted to lose ten pounds that badly, I’d spend time I currently use for movies and noodling around on the computer in the gym. I just choose not to, so I’m OK with things as they are.

If you want to know about someone’s sexual peak, you can just search through my archives using that phrase. It might be illuminating.

Senator Al Franken!

Poorly, but it keeps me somewhat active. Don’t be fooled by the fatness.

My friends are intelligent, warm, fun, loving people. Why they put up with me, I’ll never know.

Obviously, you have a lot in common.

Needs ARE needs, especially when, um, one is in one’s sexual peak. Not naming names, mind you, but you can read between the lines.

I’m trying mighty hard not to.

As for what I’m writing about today, come on! You gotta know what’s on my mind.

Oh, of course, I was being silly. On to your Franken post!

My friends are intelligent, warm, fun, loving people. Why they put up with me, I’ll never know.

Needs ARE needs, especially when, um, one is in one’s sexual peak. Not naming names, mind you, but you can read between the lines.

As for what I’m writing about today, come on! You gotta know what’s on my mind.

I’m glad it’s more rare now.

Y’know, you mentioned your various friends in your post. I hope I’m not speaking out of turn, because I only know them through blog posts and comments — which is to say only in a narrow sense — but your friends strike me as intelligent and discerning people. Having so many intelligent and discerning people value you must say something good about you, even if you don’t see it as often and you might.

if it’s mostly physical, then I agree. There is no need to be friends first. If it’s more a long-term thing, then it is helpful to have a few things in common.

Absolutely, I agree.

I dunno, though; needs are needs, they don’t go away even if others take a higher priority.

Your post today? Hmmm hmm, I can’t imagine. But I can’t wait. I’d better get some DDR ddone so I can read it later.

Anyway, if it’s mostly physical, then I agree. There is no need to be friends first. If it’s more a long-term thing, then it is helpful to have a few things in common.

Venn diagram–yeah, I usually am pretty dang specific about what I want and don’t want. My brother and I have an ongoing joke because we have vastly differing search styles. If he’s looking for an answer online, he will put it in the broadest terms possible to return as many answers as possible. He prefers to cull through the replies himself. I, on the other hand, put in very specific terms because I can’t be bothered with the chaff.

I do that with personals as well. Sigh. I really shouldn’t be focusing on this when I have so much other shit with which to deal.

Oh, and Senator Al Franken! Can you guess what my entry is going to be about today?

Senator Al Franken, thank you very much.

I quit collecting autographs ages ago, but I may just have to write in and request a copy of his official Senate portrait.

But I am glad you know what you want. It’s hard to meet someone’s needs if one doesn’t know what they are, or if they keep changing. That specific a Venn diagram might be relatively small, but I’m sure there are people out there who would read what you wrote and say, “Perfect!” I hope you find someone, or several someones, like that.

I don’t know if I completely agree that a lover has to be a friend. I’ve had some relationships that were entirely physical. But of course that’s only good when one’s other needs are pretty much met; it wouldn’t be god in isolation. Truth be told, I’ve had such relationships with women I didn’t particularly even like when we weren’t, ah, together, and it was probably mutual. That isn’t my recipe for long term happiness, but there were times when I didn’t want a relationship but did want the physical bit.

You’re very wise to understand that one person can’t be everything to you. You may not know that my lovely wife and I are among the statistically insignificant set of people who married for the first time after 30. Before that, for more than a decade, I had no interest in marriage, and only occasional interest in a monogamous relationship. But one of the reasons we chose each other was that we knew we had long histories of friendships, that all those people, even if they’re ex-lovers, are important to us, and that we’d never demand a choice. We had the bit from Kahlil Gibran about spaces in our togetherness read at our wedding. And since my lovely wife doesn’t enjoy clubbing, she’s fine when I occasionally go out with my long time clubbing friend Kim, for example.

Please — don’t worry about “shoulds” and “ought tos.” Your relationships should and ought to help make yourself and the other happy; if they do, it doesn’t matter a bit what form it takes.