Shoes. Platform shoes. I love ‘em. They give me a few inches of height without being as dangerous for me as stilettos. They give me the wiggle without endangering my running ability. They add sass to my walk and a touch of jaunt to my jiggle.
Oh, shit. Sorry. That was a pleasant digression, but not [...]
My fellow Americans. Today, I sit proudly before you in order to announce my candidacy for the 2016 presidential race (I am assuming that President Obama will win his reelection campaign in 2012). Why am I announcing my candidacy so early? Because I have done jackshit in politics, so I gotta start kissing ass now!
What? [...]
One hour. That’s all it took before I felt like a big, ugly oaf. That is when my mom brought out the clothes she had brought from Taiwan for me. This year, the fashion over there is skinny pants coupled with long, slim shirts. Now, even in my best of times, that is not [...]
Come take a trip down memory lane with me. No, you don’t have a choice (except to not read this entry). It’s like when your friends plunk you down on their couch and make you watch the videos from their family vacation. No matter how much you protest, you know you’re sunk. In other words, [...]
No, I wasn’t. I was actually cleaning my refrigerator, but that didn’t sound like a snappy title, so I didn’t use it.
I hate cleaning. I hate in more than just about anything in the world. I hate the fact that the minute you clean, you see a piece of dirt that you swear wasn’t there [...]
Well, since I’m up when I don’t want to be (like that’s anything new), I thought I’d whip off an entry since I slacked off last night. Then, I really must clean as we (by we, I mean I) are coming down to crunch time. The score is tied, and with 5 seconds left, a [...]
All right, mateys! Up next is item number two on my list, losing weight. You might want to put on your hip waders because it’s gonna get dirty and ugly up in here. Why? Because when I talk about weight issues, it ain’t pretty. This time, I’m looking at the issue of weight mostly [...]
All right. Sit back, relax, grab a pop or a cup of coffee because this is gonna take some time. Yesterday, I told you I found the meaning of MY life. It has been a slow road, to be sure, but I have finally made it to this point. A month ago, I outlined 7 [...]
I’m back, bitchez! Did you miss me? What’s that, you say? I wasn’t gone? Yes, I was. Didn’t you notice the sappy Minna hanging around for the past couple of days being all, you know, emotional and shit? Well, I sent her to her room without supper, locked the door, and ate the fucking key.
I’m [...]
Have you ever met someone with whom you have such a strong connection, it doesn’t matter how much time passes, you always pick up where you left off once you’re together again? I have met one such person, and what’s more, I’ve been fortunate enough to have her as my best friend for the last [...]